The Week My Divorce Was Final, I Landed in Portugal

In January 2026, the same week my divorce became official, I boarded a flight to Portugal.

There is something symbolic about closing one chapter and stepping onto a plane at the same time. No ceremony. No dramatic moment. Just a legal document finalized and a passport stamped within days of each other.

I did not come here to escape. I came here to reset.

Starting Over in a Co Living House

I chose to live in a co living home in a small coastal town called Fuseta. At any given time there are eight to ten of us living under one roof. We each have our own bedroom and bathroom, but everything else is shared. Kitchen. Living room. Patio. Meals. Conversations.

Since I arrived, the house has almost completely turned over. Most people stay two weeks to a month. Only a couple of us have been here the entire time.

On paper, it sounds chaotic.

In reality, it has been one of the most stabilizing experiences of my life.

We cook dinner together. We sit outside in the mornings drinking coffee. We go grocery shopping as a group. We celebrate birthdays. We say goodbye when someone leaves for their next destination. On weekends, we explore nearby towns or sit around talking for hours.

These are the kinds of rhythms most of us associate with marriage or partnership.

But I am single.

And yet, I am not alone.

Learning I Can Coexist With Anyone

One of the unexpected lessons has been how naturally I can coexist with people from completely different cultures, beliefs, and backgrounds.

Germany. Switzerland. Netherlands. Pakistan. France. Italy. Portugal. Canada. The UK.

Different ages. Different professions. Different political views. Different life stories.

In marriage, especially in conflict, it can feel like compatibility is rare and fragile. Living here has reminded me that human beings are far more adaptable than we think.

We negotiate space.
We respect boundaries.
We share responsibilities.
We apologize.
We laugh.

It is not perfect. But it works.

And that realization has been freeing.

If I can share a home with strangers from around the world and build connection quickly, maybe I was never as limited as I thought.

Enjoying Being Single, While Missing Companionship

Here is the truth most men will not say out loud during divorce.

I enjoy being single right now.

There is peace in not navigating someone else’s moods. There is clarity in making decisions without negotiation. There is space to think without tension in the background.

But I also miss companionship.

I miss physical touch. I miss having one person who knows the full context of my life. I miss shared history.

Living in this house has shown me something important.

Companionship is not all or nothing.

There are layers to it.

• Morning coffee with someone who asks about your day
• Cooking dinner together
• Sitting in silence reading in the same room
• Walking to the market and debating what to buy
• Talking late into the night about life

These are forms of companionship. They do not require romance.

In marriage, we tend to consolidate all companionship into one person. After divorce, that void can feel massive.

What I am learning is that connection can be distributed.

Friendship.
Community.
Shared space.
Shared rituals.

It does not replace romantic partnership. But it reduces the pressure to rush into the next one.

Divorce as a Growth Opportunity

The week my divorce became final, I could have easily spiraled.

Many men do.

They jump into dating immediately.
They numb out with alcohol.
They bury themselves in work.
They pretend they are fine.

I decided to do something different.

I chose discomfort.

New country.
New language.
New people.
New routines.

And in that discomfort, I am meeting parts of myself I had lost.

I am more patient than I thought.
More open than I thought.
More adaptable than I thought.
More content alone than I thought.

Divorce strips you down. It forces you to ask:

Who am I without this relationship?
What do I actually enjoy?
What kind of life do I want to build next?

Most men try to answer those questions by finding the next partner.

I am trying to answer them by sitting with myself.

For the Man Navigating Divorce Right Now

You do not need to fly to Europe to grow.

But you do need to step outside your normal patterns.

Maybe that looks like:

• Joining a community you would normally avoid
• Traveling solo for a weekend
• Moving into a new living situation
• Taking a class
• Starting therapy or coaching
• Building new friendships intentionally

Growth after divorce is not automatic. It is chosen.

Ask yourself:

What is this season trying to teach me?
Where have I outsourced companionship entirely to one person?
Who am I becoming now?

Divorce is not just an ending.

It is an identity reset.

Landing in Portugal the week my divorce became final felt symbolic at the time. Now I see it differently.

It was not about geography.

It was about permission.

Permission to be single.
Permission to be uncertain.
Permission to rebuild slowly.
Permission to discover that companionship can exist in many forms.

If you are in the middle of it, know this.

You are not just losing a marriage.

You are being given the chance to meet yourself again.